I am placing an order for a few hundred “ifs”. There is a potential bridge that I will potentially have to cross sometime in the future. And I want to be sure that I am entirely prepared when I get to this bridge, if I get there that is.
So I am obviously going to need a bunch of “ifs”. I need a good dozen “best case scenarios”, tossed in with several dozen “very implausible” possibilities. However, I will need a good half of this order to be a healthy variety of “worst case possible scenario”, “anxiety-causing possibilities”, and “anger-inducing imaginations”. Another fourth will need to be of the “regret-triggering thoughts” and “fear-generating probabilities”. And if you have any left, I will only need a few “very likely” and “most-plausible”. And only one or two, “hope and peace causing” “ifs” will be needed as the mark up is more than I can afford.
Please also throw in a few blank “ifs” to haunt me after I cross this potential bridge. I may need them in order to doubt my judgement and actions that I took at my crossing, if it happens.
Also, I was wondering about your return policy. If I do not reach this said bridge, am I allowed to return my “ifs” even if they are used? And if I do not use all that you send to me, may I return them after my possible crossing? Also, I may want to hold onto some for a few years, just in case, so are these “ifs” time sensitive?
Many thanks,
Audrey